For a long time during 2013 we felt Budapest was the most likely place for our new studio phase. It wasn't so much that we wanted to go there but at that time it was the only place we could go. Apartments in Budapest are much bigger and cheaper than everywhere else in Europe. So we booked a flight for October.
Once we arrived in Edinburgh it became clear we were not going to have everything organised in time so we postponed. A strong feeling for Berlin then emerged. There was really only one apartment suitable there but we never took it since the landlord could only guarantee it to us for 6 months. (In hindsight, that would have lined up with Kate's death and when I had to leave our Budapest apartment anyway).
At the time we felt we couldn't risk having to move all our stuff from Edinburgh to Berlin and then another move 6 months later. This is something we would have been prepared to risk but we were considering how it would affect everyone involved. It wasn't long after we'd let this one go that a landlord from Budapest we'd previously contacted a month or so earlier got in touch. Her lack of concern about noise issues (which other landlords were sometimes wary of) and her general enthusiasm encouraged us that this was the right apartment. There were a few other signs that seemed to indicate this was the one. We signed up before Christmas 2013 and booked a new flight for Budapest in January 2014.
Everything seemed fine but a week before we were due to leave I saw a picture of her on Facebook and it sent a shudder right through my body. I'd seen what she looked like before but this time a strange unpleasant feeling flashed right through me - like a warning. It happened so quickly but was very strong. It actually made me consider "should we abandon this apartment and landlord?". I seriously thought about dropping everything but again, what stopped me was concerning myself with those involved. They would lose out financially in quite a big way and I knew they wouldn't understand my decision to abandon it all based on just this feeling. This would come back to haunt me a few months later.
Once we got to Edinburgh airport everything went very smoothly in getting to Budapest. When we met our landlord she seemed friendly and yet there was something about her that bothered me. We arrived on Sunday night and our first rent payment was due by the end of Monday. When she hadn't received it by Monday morning (we were just about to make it) she wrote a snappy email. She then came round to the apartment again on Tuesday, apologised for the tone in her email, and started asking questions about Kate's condition and suggested a doctor friend of hers. It was a little uncomfortable for my dad and I who were present and felt she was putting Kate on the spot but we said nothing and were both impressed with the calm, straightforward way Kate responded. The landlord was confused at Kate's refusal to see a doctor but didn't say anymore.
A week later, after my dad had left, she came around again and this time we sat down at the kitchen table for a chat. She spoke briefly about spiritual stuff - asking if we meditate or do yoga. I don't know how she knew we were in any way spiritual because we never spoke about anything prior to this. Then out of the blue she asked me "what is the purpose of your Music?". I was surprised by this question because in all of the places we had stayed no-one else had ever asked about the Music. This question brought a direct answer out of me: "To show people the truth of what they are". Her body language immediately got defensive on this response and she snapped back at me: "But how do you know what is the truth for others? Everyone has their own path and truth". I replied "Yes, but what I am is also the same in you". She relaxed on hearing this and nodded, saying "Ok, I understand now, I get you". I then went on to explain we never force this on anyone, that we are simply putting this Music out there for those who it is to reach.
The only reason those words came out of me was because she provoked them by asking such a question. We never spoke a word about what we were doing to others who had never asked. I have the feeling now that initial encounter unsettled something in her because after this she began behaving strangely. At the end of that chat she showed enthusiasm for coming round regularly, like she somehow wanted to be part of what we were doing. She wanted to see the studio and was impressed with it. Yet each time she came round there was a restless energy to her that irritated us. Then she became unreliable - contacting us to say she wanted to visit and then cancelling at the last minute. We thought we had found an ally at last, probably too readily because we were struggling and some desperation had crept in, before it eventually became clear to us that she was not with us.
She was attracted to the energy and commented one day "its so Zen in here!", so she clearly felt some kind of peace and yet it unsettled her at the same time. I sensed she was wary of me because I could see right through her. There was a strong defensive energy I always sensed coming off her and we weren't giving her the reactions she was used to on certain matters. She was 'spiritual' in the sense she did yoga, meditated, etc... but this was the issue - she had created an identity for herself out of being spiritual. She could impress others with this but it didn't impress me. Instead, her dark side had nowhere to hide in my presence and so it started to take her over. The only song we managed to complete and release during our time in Budapest was this...
By the time Kate's parents were about to come over we were sick and tired of her. There was an incredibly dark, dense atmosphere in the apartment in those final months. We said it all along but nobody would take us seriously - there are dark forces that want to stop this Music because this Music is part of exposing that very darkness. We had no help, people thought we were crazy to speak such things. In those final weeks and days before Kate went into hospital, we were singing songs - SoulJahm and Bob Marley - and chanting "Jah Rastafari!" in an attempt to drive out whatever negativity was in there.
Its worth mentioning at this point that Kate had felt to have Skype sessions with an energy worker in America shortly before we left for Budapest. She told Kate that we had both been trying to communicate this Truth on our own over various lifetimes and that we'd always been either tortured or killed for it and this was showing up in Kate's body in this life - hence the symptoms. Remember, a 'brain tumour' is just a concept like any other. Just because we have a name for it does not mean we understand why and how these things develop. She said this time we had agreed to come as a team to deliver it through this Music. She told Kate she could see dark entities around certain chakras, some of which she removed, and also spoke of how Kate's life force chakra (which ties you to Planet Earth) was low and that she had to somehow try and root herself here again.
There was one night during the period Kate was in hospital when I was sitting alone in the apartment having my tea when I happened to notice the star shaped light on the wall. It was a pentagram, a five pointed star, and it was upside down. I thought that was a bit odd and so looked it up on the internet as I had remembered seeing somewhere before that an inverted pentagram represents darkness and evil. For a moment again a shudder passed right through me. In an earlier email exchange our landlord had made the ominous comment to us "stay away from black magic", intimating she had some experience of it.
Also during this time, after Kate had passed away, the landlord wanted to meet me. We agreed to meet at the apartment and then she cancelled at the last minute again. She then re-arranged the meeting at a cafe a few days later. The name of the cafe was called Katapult. I woke up that morning and something inside told me not to go so I cancelled. She then sent me an email later that day blaming me for Kate's death and threatening to call her police friend and have me charged with manslaughter. Its not for nothing that our landlord's name was Bogi.
She also kept our deposit to cover the expense of a few items of furniture she had offered to get in for us before we arrived in Budapest. These would still have been useful for future tenants. These kind of people are psychic vampires - they are somehow attracted to this energy initially but when they begin to realise that same energy exposes their dark side they react viciously.
By the time my dad came to stay in the apartment, coming over for Kate's cremation, the atmosphere was really dark. Both of us would get up in the morning and just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. We'd go for several walks each day just to get some breathing space. In the midst of all this we had to pack up all the studio gear and find somewhere to put it. Eventually, we had to leave and book another apartment for a couple of days before leaving Budapest as it was unbearable and not worth staying in any longer just to save money.
With the call now to go to Berlin, despite the circumstances not being in my favour, I was going to honour that inner voice no matter what. At the beginning of June 2014 I caught the night train from Budapest to Berlin with my guitar, laptop and a case to begin a new adventure.
