Rasta Living

To be a Rasta is to live as a natural being.  Each human being is in fact a mighty Being, an authority and power in their own right.  Very few human beings know this.  They have forgotten.  Yes, people can believe it and say it aloud but who truly KNOWS this?  So from that point of view, each individual has the right to live and die as they please.  Nobody can know from the outside what is right for another individual.

This is where the struggle comes from living the Rasta way.  Society is always going to be against you one way or another because it is set-up to make the individual feel small.  People can only judge you and what you do using the reference points society has taught them and these reference points conveniently and unconsciously imprison the individual.  People have no other way of determining whether you are living 'right' or 'wrong', whether you are 'happy' or 'sad' other than by the definitions given by the society.  Our natural state is happiness but the society is set-up to do everything to disturb this.



As you come into the Rasta way you may change externally.  You may appear to others as more serious and intense, perhaps not smiling or laughing as much, and they will often try and convince you there is something wrong.  Those inside the pen don't like to see anyone escape because it upsets their sleep.  As long as everyone else is asleep they can feel comfort in their sleep. 

Awakening is as much a physical thing as it is mental.  It relaxes the body in a way you have never known.  Memory/conditioning is stored in the cells all over the body.  The process of awakening releases this grip.  As the grip releases what is left behind is the natural peace of the body.  Inner peace requires no outer conditions.  When your true nature is revealed to you that is joy in itself and it will display itself however it pleases.  Most joking around and smiling in society is actually masking insecurity - take a look at all the stupid Facebook photos.  Who are these people trying to kid?  Pulling silly faces, big smiles... trying to show the world how happy and great a time they are having.  Only those who are unhappy try to convince others of their happiness. 

People use what they call humour to avoid meeting life directly head on.  When you discover your Rasta nature, this type of thing becomes irritating.  True humour has a liberating quality to it.  As a Rasta you will find yourself not wishing to participate in any kind of false situations and may have to remove yourself if those around you are unable to meet you - or at least show sincerity - to that Highest State.

That is the strength and courage that comes with being a Rasta.  You know yourself and will not back down for anything.  It is not stubborness, it is unwillingness to lower yourself from your true nature.  Once that place has been discovered and established it is put ahead of all else.  If you have to walk this life alone so be it.  You will do so because you know what you are and you can't be fooled again.  You will only wish to associate yourself with those who also live with these qualities or at least recognise and respect them. 



You might find yourself not interested in many of the things your family and friends enjoy.  Again you may face struggle in this area.  What they don't understand is you are not denying yourself of anything but because the inner peace and joy is there you just don't require those things anymore.  It is too much effort, too much strain to go 'looking for a good time' when you already feel content as you are.  You can do anything the Rasta way, enjoy everything there is to enjoy, but you don't NEED it the way other people do for any kind of fulfilment.



You can't fake being a Rasta.  It is what you are.  It is not a belief, an ideology, a philosophy, something you pick up today and then try something else tomorrow.  It may take a bit of time to recognise what you are and for it to establish itself but once it has been recognised it can't be forgotten.  You will not settle for second-best ever again.

Your work, play, daily living all become one with you.  There is no separation.  That is why you rarely will find a Rasta who can live in the standard mode of society.  There are many wolves in sheeps clothing.  They talk a good game but it does not operate as a living fact in their own life.  It has to operate in your daily life otherwise you are just spouting philosophy.  When your Being no longer resonates with the society you live in - your job, your relationships, your hobbies, activities, leisure time, all of that, then you have NO CHOICE but to walk away.  That can't be faked.  In today's spiritual culture it's very convenient for people to believe they can have both but they are simply fooling themselves.  Many teachers and gurus will tell you it is possible to have both but they are making a living out of that so of course they are going to say that otherwise no-one would buy their books or come to hear them speak!  If you look at their own lives you will see the contradictions - often they themselves walked out of a job or left their family yet they tell others not to.

If this thing really hits you it will shatter your life and yourself as you know it.  It is not an act of rebellion, a phase you'll grow out of, it is rebellion by your very nature which you can't deny.  If that wasn't the case, then the society as it is would be free, and if it was free, why would anybody be attracted to spirituality in the first place?



As a Rasta you no longer divide your life up into parts.  Your work and play are one in the same thing because you enjoy what you do deeply.  If work in society's terms is natural for us why then do we need holidays?  Why do you need a drink every weekend at the end of a working week?

Daily living is all there is, whatever that entails moment to moment, and living without security is part of that.  The System promises security and that is one of the ways it imprisons the individual.  It promises future - a place to stay tomorrow, money tomorrow, savings, pensions, investments.  But no-one knows what tomorrow will bring.  No security is a fact of life which can be masked by the System but not denied.  You may save and invest for 20 years down the line but you don't know if you will even be here tomorrow.  So as a Rasta this is not denied but encouraged and brought out into the open.  Don't be afraid of lack of security, get used to it.

There is a power there which the System is all the time trying to distract you from.  When you touch that power you become it and there is a voice in you which opens up and guides you.  Jah becomes your boss not Joe Bloggs.  Life is your richness not money and possessions and anything else society promises. 

Jah Live!

Phase II - What is SoulJahm?

Now seems a good time to have another look at what SoulJahm is.

When Kate and I set off for Europe in October 2010, all we had in our heads was "we must go to Europe".  It was ringing out so clearly in us both - there was no choice.  In the background we knew Music would come into the picture somewhere down the line but we weren't thinking that way as we left.  We never took any instruments or prepared in any way for Music.  Originally, it was all about Europe.

It was about 5 months after we landed in Barcelona that October before SoulJahm came to life.  Beginning with a ukulele and melodica, a different type of song began to come.  Songs directly from our current living experience.  Our feeling on it all was quite simple.  Put the songs and videos out as invitations or messengers to bring something of this Truth to people.  It didn't matter that we were a bit rough and ready - it was important to just put them out.  Maybe people would be curious about it all - the songs, the journey, how we lived.  Some people were curious but didn't hang around.  The vision we saw was that slowly we might connect with some people who could see something in what we were singing about, how we were living.  Some of those people might want to be part of it and so with more people, we could all create more and the whole thing might rise exponentially.  Not for any agenda or purpose other than as an environment for people who felt the same about the world as we did.  People who somehow always felt the way we were taught to live was not right, that something was wrong or missing.  Kate and I felt this way since we were children and could never shake it off.  We were trying to say, "you can do this, you don't have to accept the way things are, don't try and change the world, just change your own life, just do what you feel is right and prove it can be done".  That is enough.

One of the saddest things about Kate's death is we felt we were only getting started.  We never managed to fulfil a lot of the things we intended to and the saddest part was that we just couldn't connect with people.  We found time and again, as long as you remain on superficial ground, the known and comfortable, people will happily spend time and relate with you but the moment you try to make any real connection people back off.  Everybody is quite content in their mundaneness but we never gave up.  Nobody wants direct contact with life, direct experience.  On a few occasions we made some breakthroughs but they were always rare events and quickly it was back to business as usual.

When humans sing together something happens.  That is direct communion.  We know it but we can't explain what it is.  It has a different quality to going out for a nice meal together or sitting have a drink or whatever other way humans usually entertain themselves.  When we sing it is direct and immediate.  You don't really know what is happening, it just feels good.  When we play instruments together, even if its just some shakers and a guitar, there is something ALIVE there.  Or spontaneously taking photos, being involved in any way when true creativity is in action.  When we sit and discuss life and reality, question it and question ourselves, in a genuine and sincere way there is something in that we don't get when we sit and talk about the World Cup or our families or anything else belonging to the mundane and dead.  When you speak about what you already know, it is dead.  It has a dead quality to it but when you check out what you don't know and explore that you come alive.  The difficulty is to get to that aliveness you have to become vulnerable and in this society we are trained from a young age to hide vulnerability at all costs.  It is seen as a weakness.  When you don't know yourself anymore that is being vulnerable but nobody seems to want to go to that place.

Kate and I were always looking for those moments in our interactions with others.  Everyday we could sing together for 2 hours and find great joy in it, never getting tired of it.  We wanted to share and encourage that simplicity in others.  You don't need to go out sight-seeing, looking at buildings and dead stuff, or to the pub, you can find Life here in the simplicity of your apartment singing or doing whatever.  Or go for a walk without needing to know where you're going or what you're looking at.  When we created the songs and videos there was a great satisfaction in it every time because we knew we were creating something truthful and powerful and there was such love in the whole process that it didn't matter to us that nobody else might get it.  We could never get bored of singing SoulJahm songs - they continued to feel new to us.

Yet we also understood the way the world is and people don't recognise what is in front of them unless it's packaged and presented attractively.  So our whole idea behind setting up a studio to record and practice was to try and take the songs to a higher level in terms of presentation.  We could quite happily have gone on forever more with just an acoustic guitar singing together but that's the dilemna - the world pressures you to DO something, BE something.  So we figured, "ok, if we must do something in this world it can only be Music because that is where our joy is".  So we did what we could to get that happening.  If a man stands on the street speaking words of Truth, no one pays attention.  If you put those same words into a book with a nice shiny cover and sell it in a book store then there is a chance it will be recognised.  This is where we were attempting to go with the studio.  Also, not to take anything away from that process itself, we recognised it would make the songs more multi-dimensional.  We could explore and bring out the rhythm, harmony and instrumentation in a way not possible acoustically.  We saw that we'd eventually have all these versions of our songs - acoustic, sparse instrumentation, full instrumentation, and so on - and people could take their pick which they preferred. 

We could think about putting together proper albums and building on that.  Not just musically, but in all the directions we felt to go into.  There were lots of ideas and as long as this Truth was at their core, that was all that mattered to us.

Now all that has come crashing down and that is part of life too.  It creates and destroys in equal measure.  But the Heart of what SoulJahm is about has not been destroyed.  The core of what we set out to do remains because Truth is Truth is Truth.  You can break it up, rearrange it, change all the circumstances but it still remains Truth.  In that sense, my work remains exactly the same.  All the circumstances have changed but as long as I am in a body I will do what I can to get this Music out.  It is like we always kept saying - we have no choice.  That is a reality.  I have no choice.  You can ask a monkey to fly like a bird over and over.  We are what we are.  Society is always interested in us being something other than what we are because then we are useful to it.  When you are just what you are and nothing else you are not useful to society because you are too ordinary.  You become a threat or a nuisance or a rebel in some way, not even by trying, just your very core has to go against the grain.  It must be that way for freedom.

It seems Phase I of SoulJahm - the first three and a half years - was all about "Preparing The Soil".  We were like farmers ploughing the land.  Now the seed has been planted it must grow.

I will not give up that there are others out there who feel the way I do and even if this Music only gets through to one individual then it has done its job.  So for now, SoulJahm Phase II starts with me back on acoustic guitar and we see where it goes from here.

Living As If There Is No Death

Ferry from Amsterdam to Edinburgh, Aug 2013

Before a new SoulJahm phase begins, I want to say a few things about the death of Kate and about the life she lived from my perspective.  I can't presume to know totally what is going on inside another human being but we shared as close a journey together as two humans could so maybe I can try and give an insight into our way of living on her behalf.  Even to call it a "way of living" is not quite right because there is no way.

The simplest way I can put it is that Kate was enjoying her life moment to moment too much to be concerned with death.  That might be too simple for some to accept but that is what I saw.  From the moment the first difficulties with her body showed up until it was no longer possible she was adamant she wanted to carry on what we were doing.  She didn't want to miss out on LIVING NOW by being side-tracked with concerns for her health.  What label you stuck on her condition was pretty much irrelevant because it was what it was in any given moment.  It wasn't that she was deliberately being reckless or ignorant, simply that she did not feel to take any action for a long time and what was going on now was all that mattered and she included in that any difficulties present in her body.  But those difficulties were not going to stop her LIVING.  She never saw or felt of herself as ill (see video below for a further explanation of this).  What I saw is that wherever we were, whatever we were doing, was the only place she wanted to be and the only thing she wanted to be doing.  There was no room for anything else.

This kind of simplicity is missed in a culture that starts from the idea death is terrible and is all about prolonging life at any cost, a culture where the quality of your life is measured in number of years not in how meaningful what you are doing now is.  We live in a society obsessed with health and the body and so it is difficult for people to see past that.  That there is a peace and joy within that can even surpass concern for the body.  It is essentially living the way any other animal lives.



I have seen too many indications now that an individual's death is somehow predestined.  Things they say or do in the years leading up to their death, and looked at in hindsight, suggest to me that on some level it is known they don't have much time left.  I don't necessarily think the individual consciously knows when they are going to die but something does and it is often reflected in their behaviour.  

Budapest, April 2011

To onlookers it might look like what Kate was doing wasn't all that special.  No big achievements, no wordly successes, no fancy career.  Surely she couldn't be happy with that?  But that is the very value system we were spotlighting all the time as false.  That's why people who achieve all those things are never happy, its never enough, they always want more.  You've got the family in place, you've got your house, your career but still you're never satisfied.  Peace and contentment comes from inside and what you do after discovering that becomes fairly irrelevant.  The paradox seems to be that when you hit upon that peace inside, your outside world begins to change and reflect that and you fall into doing something that gives you great joy without having any big intentions.  It happens quite effortlessly.

Barcelona, Sep 2011

 This is what we found in SoulJahm.  The way of it, the twists and turns, the ideas and visions around it, all happened and continue to happen totally spontaneously.  It is a living discovery.  Looked at over a period of time it might appear we planned and strived for it, and knew what we were doing, but the actual fact of living it is nothing at all like that.  Even the struggle of it becomes a joy in a way that is hard to explain.  When things got tough we'd often stop for a moment, before recognising and saying to each other "I'd still rather be doing this than anything else in this life" and we'd be back on track.  Never did I see any regret in Kate at what she'd given up to live like this.  I don't believe you can regret it once it happens but that is difficult to get across to those contrained by their own mental imprisonment.  Even in the final months, she wanted to be in this Music energy field.  It didn't matter that she wasn't actively taking part any longer, she was content just to be around it and immersed in it and nothing else would do.  Those who cannot feel that Presence will doubt that but who feels it knows it.    

Living like this can only be understood from the inside not from looking on as a bystander.   Everything was and is still being lived moment to moment without needing to know where you are going next.  That is a beautiful way to live and I would say the Highest way to live and Kate lived her last years this way.  Once the body could no longer go any further on that path there was nowhere left to go.  Now the body may be gone but the energy that is Kate is indestructible and that energy will always be part of what is here now as SoulJahm.

Jah Rastafari!

Florence, July 2011