Phase II - What is SoulJahm?

Now seems a good time to have another look at what SoulJahm is.

When Kate and I set off for Europe in October 2010, all we had in our heads was "we must go to Europe".  It was ringing out so clearly in us both - there was no choice.  In the background we knew Music would come into the picture somewhere down the line but we weren't thinking that way as we left.  We never took any instruments or prepared in any way for Music.  Originally, it was all about Europe.

It was about 5 months after we landed in Barcelona that October before SoulJahm came to life.  Beginning with a ukulele and melodica, a different type of song began to come.  Songs directly from our current living experience.  Our feeling on it all was quite simple.  Put the songs and videos out as invitations or messengers to bring something of this Truth to people.  It didn't matter that we were a bit rough and ready - it was important to just put them out.  Maybe people would be curious about it all - the songs, the journey, how we lived.  Some people were curious but didn't hang around.  The vision we saw was that slowly we might connect with some people who could see something in what we were singing about, how we were living.  Some of those people might want to be part of it and so with more people, we could all create more and the whole thing might rise exponentially.  Not for any agenda or purpose other than as an environment for people who felt the same about the world as we did.  People who somehow always felt the way we were taught to live was not right, that something was wrong or missing.  Kate and I felt this way since we were children and could never shake it off.  We were trying to say, "you can do this, you don't have to accept the way things are, don't try and change the world, just change your own life, just do what you feel is right and prove it can be done".  That is enough.

One of the saddest things about Kate's death is we felt we were only getting started.  We never managed to fulfil a lot of the things we intended to and the saddest part was that we just couldn't connect with people.  We found time and again, as long as you remain on superficial ground, the known and comfortable, people will happily spend time and relate with you but the moment you try to make any real connection people back off.  Everybody is quite content in their mundaneness but we never gave up.  Nobody wants direct contact with life, direct experience.  On a few occasions we made some breakthroughs but they were always rare events and quickly it was back to business as usual.

When humans sing together something happens.  That is direct communion.  We know it but we can't explain what it is.  It has a different quality to going out for a nice meal together or sitting have a drink or whatever other way humans usually entertain themselves.  When we sing it is direct and immediate.  You don't really know what is happening, it just feels good.  When we play instruments together, even if its just some shakers and a guitar, there is something ALIVE there.  Or spontaneously taking photos, being involved in any way when true creativity is in action.  When we sit and discuss life and reality, question it and question ourselves, in a genuine and sincere way there is something in that we don't get when we sit and talk about the World Cup or our families or anything else belonging to the mundane and dead.  When you speak about what you already know, it is dead.  It has a dead quality to it but when you check out what you don't know and explore that you come alive.  The difficulty is to get to that aliveness you have to become vulnerable and in this society we are trained from a young age to hide vulnerability at all costs.  It is seen as a weakness.  When you don't know yourself anymore that is being vulnerable but nobody seems to want to go to that place.

Kate and I were always looking for those moments in our interactions with others.  Everyday we could sing together for 2 hours and find great joy in it, never getting tired of it.  We wanted to share and encourage that simplicity in others.  You don't need to go out sight-seeing, looking at buildings and dead stuff, or to the pub, you can find Life here in the simplicity of your apartment singing or doing whatever.  Or go for a walk without needing to know where you're going or what you're looking at.  When we created the songs and videos there was a great satisfaction in it every time because we knew we were creating something truthful and powerful and there was such love in the whole process that it didn't matter to us that nobody else might get it.  We could never get bored of singing SoulJahm songs - they continued to feel new to us.

Yet we also understood the way the world is and people don't recognise what is in front of them unless it's packaged and presented attractively.  So our whole idea behind setting up a studio to record and practice was to try and take the songs to a higher level in terms of presentation.  We could quite happily have gone on forever more with just an acoustic guitar singing together but that's the dilemna - the world pressures you to DO something, BE something.  So we figured, "ok, if we must do something in this world it can only be Music because that is where our joy is".  So we did what we could to get that happening.  If a man stands on the street speaking words of Truth, no one pays attention.  If you put those same words into a book with a nice shiny cover and sell it in a book store then there is a chance it will be recognised.  This is where we were attempting to go with the studio.  Also, not to take anything away from that process itself, we recognised it would make the songs more multi-dimensional.  We could explore and bring out the rhythm, harmony and instrumentation in a way not possible acoustically.  We saw that we'd eventually have all these versions of our songs - acoustic, sparse instrumentation, full instrumentation, and so on - and people could take their pick which they preferred. 

We could think about putting together proper albums and building on that.  Not just musically, but in all the directions we felt to go into.  There were lots of ideas and as long as this Truth was at their core, that was all that mattered to us.

Now all that has come crashing down and that is part of life too.  It creates and destroys in equal measure.  But the Heart of what SoulJahm is about has not been destroyed.  The core of what we set out to do remains because Truth is Truth is Truth.  You can break it up, rearrange it, change all the circumstances but it still remains Truth.  In that sense, my work remains exactly the same.  All the circumstances have changed but as long as I am in a body I will do what I can to get this Music out.  It is like we always kept saying - we have no choice.  That is a reality.  I have no choice.  You can ask a monkey to fly like a bird over and over.  We are what we are.  Society is always interested in us being something other than what we are because then we are useful to it.  When you are just what you are and nothing else you are not useful to society because you are too ordinary.  You become a threat or a nuisance or a rebel in some way, not even by trying, just your very core has to go against the grain.  It must be that way for freedom.

It seems Phase I of SoulJahm - the first three and a half years - was all about "Preparing The Soil".  We were like farmers ploughing the land.  Now the seed has been planted it must grow.

I will not give up that there are others out there who feel the way I do and even if this Music only gets through to one individual then it has done its job.  So for now, SoulJahm Phase II starts with me back on acoustic guitar and we see where it goes from here.